Take a quick test below! If you’re dating or have a close friend outside your race, you’re exempt from this test. If you’re Mother Theresa volunteering for some community or church project where needy minorities look up to you with appreciation, even admiration—and disbelief—that’s no free pass. If you live in a city like Mud Creek, Kentucky, where you can count people of color with your fingers, there’s no need to continue, nor count; you’re out! If you’re Jesse Helms or Louis Farrakhan,…well, never mind!
First, take a look at the last three dinner parties you’ve hosted at home. If you’ve never hosted one at all or, worse, if you’ve never had anyone over before, click here: Social Anxiety Disorder. Holiday celebrations and sit-down dinners carry more weight, so count those as two events each. Office parties are less important; count those as only half an event each. Add up the points.
Example:
Sit-down dinner party = 2 points
Super Bowl buffet = 1 point
Office Christmas party = 0.5 point
Total = 3.5 points
Next, try to recall approximately how many guests you had in those three dinner parties. Break that out into four major groups: How many Caucasians? African Americans? Asians or Pacific Islanders? How many are Hispanic? (I know it’s easier if it’s the same group of people in all three parties. But wait a minute, no cheating here! We’re not counting only family members here, in case that’s all you’ve got.) Following US Census protocol[1], you may classify one person in more than just one group, e.g., Wyclef Jean, African American and Hispanic.
Example:
Total = 7
Caucasian = 4
African American = 2
Asian or Pacific Islander = 1
Hispanic = 1
Now, think about what each of their ethnic roots might be by country. (Only Native Americans get to pick USA, ok?) And, don’t get too involved with the schmuck who always goes about complicating your life with his German, Italian AND Irish lineage. Just pick one randomly please. (By the way, remind the schmuck he forgot Africa in his list, and dare him to confirm that with a simple genealogy test.[2] Now, count all the countries you come up with.
Example:
Total = 7
Ireland = 3
Italy=1
Thailand = 1
Puerto Rico = 2
The last exercise really doesn’t count. It’s just interesting to know, isn’t it?
Now, we’re down to the wire here. (Said very quickly as in those advertisement statement of liabilities and limitations:) For your total score, multiply your dinner party points by the number of major racial groups you’ve classified your total guests into.
Example
3.5 points x 4 groups = 14 (total score)
If your total score is less than 3, you are Diversity Challenged. Get a life! You’re an adult now; move out of your parents' already! Go learn something!
If your total score is from 3 to 9, you are Diversity Ripe (or Ripening), almost there for the picking or already picked, savored, appreciated—and maybe—even discriminated upon.
If your total score is 10 or higher, you are Diversity Savvy. But of course, you didn’t need this unscientific test to know that, did you? Hillary, if that’s you—quick, what’s the capital of Tuvalu?[3]
[1] US Census
[2] familytreedna.com
[3] geography.about.com